When there is a full moon and lunar eclipse on the same night

and when you have a huge assignment due for a meticulous professor who LOVES docking points

and when you think you lost your wallet but it turns out that somebody brought it to the counter at the school coffee place during the two seconds you went to the trash (nice of them since it wasss a dumb move on my part)

and when you straight up feel like you haven't been true to yourself for most of the semester (lack of opportunities to bust a psy-nut)

and when you open up a piece of custom clothing you ordered a couple of months ago only to find shoddy, cheap craftsman ship for what you paid for,

the result is a LOT of uncontrollable emotion ;-;

brb im gonna go be a waterfall for the rest of the night :o

Thanks-for-nothing-giving

THANKSGIVING IS THE MOST ANNOYING HOLIDAY EVER.

I'm a pretty grateful person and I often explicitly express my gratitude, as I'm sure many of my close friends can tell you. However, I find this holiday VERY fucking annoying. Probably because I'm vegan. So after making the trip to my family's house, I have to cook my own dinner. Which really sucks when your parents have a very tiny kitchen and your anal-passive aggressive mother is running around behind you picking up every tiny food scrap you drop while you're trying to do your thing.....

I always have trouble doing this holiday. Fall semester is tough, and the only break I really get is this one which I have to spend at my parent's house... so after a few months of barely being able to do my own thing, I have to spend my time off with even less privacy or space than I had at the house that I just moved from. I want to move on from this semester onto more exciting projects, plz. And I would much prefer the time I spend with my family to NOT involve having a ton of people over for dinner which always makes my parents crabby and uptight. grrrrrrrrrrr

Also, in case all two of you who read this blog are wondering where I've been, my computer has been broken :(

Fuck the 'real' world!

Let's see what I have to do this week....

Well, I got a message from the local credit union saying that I have 70 dollars in overdraft fees. My account went 20 dollars negative a while back, and I decided to just let it be fore a while since I didn't get any fees at the time. No big deal, except for my inability to read the fine print and realize that after a certain period of negative-ness, you get a 5 dollar fee for every time you are negative. And of course they wait a while to contact you....

A handful of assorted assignments. Not really anything to stress about, but my schedule is such a cluster that it's hard to put time aside to sit down and be able to really work on them. I have lots of little breaks here and there and a lack of big breaks.

Finish a final paper for a very meticulous professor that acts all empathetic and understanding but slashes points here and there if it's not done "her way" even though it follows the rubric.

Register for classes. Now, this should have been simple. I've known what classes I need to take for a while, and I went to register for them as soon as registration opens up. However, there are these stupid weekend classes at my school for grad students in my department. They meet Friday night and all day Saturday once a month. They're offered at the same times but on different weekends. This creates a time conflict error in the computer system. No big deal, I just need to contact my advisor to do an override...

...except my advisor is that same anal professor I just mentioned. Instead of simply helping me, she insists that I put aside the time to talk to her face to face about what classes I want to take... yeah, I have time to meet up with you, as a full time student who works 20 hours a week and tries to maintain a life outside of that! What's the point of going to see you if I don't need you for anything? But if I argue with her, she'll just be a mega bitch to me when grading my papers.

See, in situations like this, the solutions should be a bit more simple but people have a tendency to pledge allegiance to the shit they're affiliated with.... I find that corporate banks will refund fees much more quickly because the tellers care more about me, a fellow human being, than their corporate overlords, while bank tellers at credit unions act incredibly snotty in situations like this. Professors demand that students don't have a fucking life outside of college... so helpful for a therapy major to ONLY be immersed in therapy related things and nothing else! I wonder why there is such a high burnout rate for music therapists??? Unlike the rest of my colleagues, I do not pledge allegiance to the education institution of America that is based on sucking up as much money, mental space, and time as possible.... and I honestly think that's the reason I've managed to get through without appearing to give a fuck.

But I do give somewhat of a fuck, because I do want to get out of here. It is very frustrating being bound to classes. I pay so much money to work! And it's not enlightening work, it's very mind-cluttery busy work, easy stuff that just takes the emphasis away from the things that matter in life, the more simple things like spending time out in nature, spiritual practice, enjoying time with friends without something looming in the distance, and most importantly, the psytrancier things in life! I make it a point to put time aside to do this stuff, but it's really not enough. I wish I could just hide in my room and smoke pot until this grad school thing blows over :P I think at least next semester will be easier because my schedule will be more organized.

And the last thing I have to do this week:

Not vote! This one should be self explanatory, but for those that would like a simple explanation: I don't like the giant douche any better than the turd sandwich.

Oh one more thing....

There's a shipping delay on my dehydrator and spiral cutter because of the storm! Wahhhhhhhhh!

I'm looking at recipes for raw versions of:
quiche
zuchinni spaghetti
pizza
cookies
etc.

that all look freaking amazzzzzing, and I'm going crazy with excitement. I want all of these delicious healthy things in my tummy so badly!

I HATE TV I HATE TV I HATE TV I HATE TV

Why does being in the kitchen for the rest of my roomates, specifically my landlord while he runs the cookie business, automatically mean that the TV has to be blaring down the hall the entire time? Turn the fucking thing off! It's bombarding my mind. o_O

Between the noise and lights from the cars on the highway, the lights from the rescue squad next door, the lights from the hallway, and the sounds in the kitchen, I haven't had a quiet, dark night in my own living space for well over a year now. And thank god I'm moving in a couple of weeks because it's really starting to bug me out! I have come to realize that all of my frustration in life stems from one core issue: I haven't had enough space for myself. I so look forward to living in a quiet house away from town where I have enough extra space outside of my bedroom to be creative. I think it's going to make ALL of the difference in the world.

By the way, during my landlord's bullying session last week that prompted me to find a new living space, he mentioned that it was a legitimate fear of his that he would come home one day to find the house burned down because of me. His girlfriend, who moved in a week later (coincidence? I don't think so!), has set the fire alarm off cooking twice now. I haven't set it off once. Just saying. Also her living here brings the grand total of people living in this tiny place up to 8 now! 8 people sharing one refrigerator.... ridiculous.